Holding My Breath: A Novel
by Sidura Ludwig
THE UNITER
The University of Winnipeg Student Weekly
22 March 2007, review by Ksenia Prints
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Good stories are those that allow the reader to curl up with the author's words under the blankets and be that cold, miserable kid from the Neverending Story for at least an hour. The aptly named Holding My Breath offers just that, with its comforting words almost rolling off the pages as the story of its heroine, Beth, unfolds.
In some families, turning out average is just about the worst fate of all. But average is exactly how young Beth grows up in Winnipeg's North End during the 1950s and '60s. The only child in what was meant to be a happy Jewish family, Beth is somewhat of a disappointment from the beginning.
Her burden only gets heavier as she grows up, the youngest in a house full of women, memories, and unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Beth's mother, Goldie, works herself to the bone while fantasizing about a house on the affluent McAdam Avenue, where she could have tea parties with her proper lady friends. Her older aunt, Carrie, is a sullen seamstress who cradles Beth to sleep with stories about her dead Uncle Phil. Sarah, her other aunt, is still a spunky teenager who tries to break all the rules as she attempts to find herself, but only ends up breaking everyone's hearts. In the background is Phil's spirit, hovering over everyone and inspiring Beth to find the one thing she can be truly great at.
The novel also offers a historical picture of the streets of Winnipeg's North End. Through the eyes of a maturing girl, Ludwig brings to life an atmosphere that is now long gone. Walks along Selkirk Avenue to Gunn's Bakery may still be a part of some families' lives, but they now lack the charm that Beth sees them with. Some of the North End landmarks Beth sees are completely gone, replaced by evidence of a declining neighbourhood.
But not everything in Beth's time is perfect in this still-hopeful neighbourhood---Main Street is not safe to her, and the neighbourhood farmers' market is being replaced by Safeway. Towards the book's end, many Jewish families are settling in the South End of the city, particularly on Wellington Crescent and in River Heights.
But Holding My Breath is not a sad story. It is a quick read, made even more appealing by the narrator's wit. Certainly readers will not see Beth as average, but as a spirited and inspired youngster learning to cope with her family.